Friendship Bill of Rights – Part II

June 9, 2009 at 4:01 pm | Posted in friendship, relationships | 1 Comment
Tags: bill of rights, friendship, relationships

Friendship Bill of Rights – Part II

By Katie Wells

 

Great girlfriends are the lifeblood of my existence. My girlfriends are the litmus test for everything in my life from which outfit to wear to which guy to date. My girlfriends keep me grounded. They are a great sounding board for the crazy, off-the-wall plans I often concoct. So, having a group of high-level friends to reel me in and bring my feet back to the ground is a necessity.

In last week’s column, I wrote about the Friendship Bill of Rights. The closer you become to someone, the more you expect from them as a friend and the more they expect of you. The silent friendship code begins to emerge. It is the unspoken trust between two people, and the rights you are entitled to as a friend. Every relationship takes effort, work—friendship rights are part of the reward.

Last week, I described the different levels of friendship: low-level, mid-level, and high-level. The Friendship Bill of Rights applies to your core group of friends, your closest friends, your high-level friends. So without further ado, I give you The Friendship Bill of Rights:

The right to borrow clothes, a pie dish, or anything else needed. I once borrowed a dog, but that’s another story.
The right to automatic defense by your friends. If someone has wronged you, your friends are always on your side.

The right to an instant cheerleader. Your friends will always support and encourage you in your ventures. They will always celebrate your successes with you—big and small.

The right to a safety net. Your friends will advise you against making bad choices with honest feedback, whether it is wearing a bad outfit to dating a bad guy.

The right to be included. With your high-level friends, you know you are always invited, even if you didn’t get the call, E-vite, or text about a dinner, happy hour, or spontaneous get-together.

The right to help in a low moment. In your most dire times, you can count on high-level friends to help provide your most basic needs: food, water, and shelter.

The right to the acceptance of significant others (despite personal feelings) as long as it is not harmful or dangerous to your friend.

The right to listen. Your friends understand that sometimes you just need to vent. A true friend will allow you to do this without holding your statements against you and will always be a sounding board for your ideas, thoughts, and feelings.

The right to not judge. A true friend does not judge their friends’ life choices. In my experience, the closer you become, the less you judge your friend. During the early stages of friendship (low-level to mid-level) you don’t have the history, background, or friendship code to adhere by, and judgements are readily cast. If you don’t approve, you agree to disagree.

The right to give/receive help moving, driving to/from the airport, and always a place to crash when coming from out-of-town.

The right to make fun of your friends, always good naturedly, of course.

The right of trust. Your friend will not date or sleep with anyone you have dated. Your friend will not gossip about you.

Friendships are an important part of life, but as with any relationship, they take work. You have to put time into your friendship. It is an investment, but when you do, you reap the remarkable rewards.